About Tom

Thomas Edwin Kallander

Thomas Edwin Kallander came into this world on March 31, 1956. Tom was born in Pittsfield, MA, the second son of David Kallander and Barbara Bentley, and younger brother to Jim, who was a year and a half older. In 1959, our family, which by then included me, moved to Tempe, AZ. The southwest was an outdoorsman’s’ paradise, and Dad introduced us at an early age. We hiked, camped, and fished throughout Arizona, Utah and Wyoming. Dad, who is 89, is attending the service with us today.

The outdoors became a lifelong passion that Tom fully embraced, and that many of you shared with him as well. Tom loved to hunt, fish, camp with his family, four-wheel, jet ski, and take bike trips with his buddies. I’m certain many of you shared these activities with Tom.

While in Arizona, Cheryl and Nancy were born. Later, as young adults, the five of us scattered across this great country, but we always stayed connected. Mom was our Rock. She was always there for a word of encouragement or to help think through a snare, but never imposing. Tom was predeceased by Mom in 2009, stepfather Chuck in 2012, and Jim, our big brother in every sense of the word, in 2014.

In preparing this eulogy, I thought about Tom’s life and what it meant. I strived to understand the unknowing - why Tom, why now, and why the long, agonizing road of treatments and disappointing test results? I don’t have the answer to these complicated questions. So I wondered a what made Tom the son, brother, father, grandfather, uncle, and friend that he was.

There are significant events, or turning points, that result in a dramatic change that fundamentally changes our path. These events are so fundamental that we have just a few. I’ll call these Inflection Points in the Life of Tom – there are five.

Inflection Point # 1

In 1965, Mom and Dad divorced. In 1965, Arizona was conservative – after all, it was Barry Goldwater country. As children, we hardly understood the word, and much less what it meant. Tom was the more sensitive and thoughtful brother, and I think the Divorce had a more profound impact on him. Mom moved us to Elba, NY to be near her brothers and sister. Our uncles modeled hard work, and devotion to family. They were always there to help Mom and provide fatherly correction to us boys. We moved into the hired-hand house at a small dairy farm out on Bridge Road. Our playground was the back forty, the apple orchard, the woodlots, the dairy stalls and the hay barn.

These were formative times for Tom. His love of tractors and equipment started on the farm, and his fixit skills were developed on power equipment, or anything else that needed fixing. Tom could tear down an internal combustion engine and put it back together by the time he was 12. You want to know how much that farm meant to Tom? The two Oliver tractors outside Tom’s shop in Des Moines are physical embodiments of those memories. They might look like junk, but to Tom they were heirlooms worth protecting and eventually restoring.

In Elba, Tom developed his love of music and began playing guitar and piano. I visited Elba last weekend at a benefit concert for some classmates of mine whose business recently burned down. I saw many of Tom’s old friends and band mates – they remembered Tom’s musical skills, his sweet voice, and his enthusiasm. They acknowledged both Tom and Jim and their impact on the early music scene in Elba. An early bandmate posted “Tom was a comet. A sparkling shadow leaving a trail of smiles with everyone he touched.” That’s how our childhood friends remembered Tom.

It’s worth mentioning that I shared a bedroom with Tom from the time I was born until I was 10. Even then, Tom had piles of tools, overhauled or half-built amplifiers and speakers, fixit magazines, cords, tubes, and testers. I would put a piece of tape down the middle of our room to demarcate my side from his, fearing his stuff would infringe my space. When we moved into the village, Tom finally had his own bedroom. It was bedroom, electronics rebuild shop, and recording studio in one. It was on the first floor, and Mom made him keep his door closed if company was expected.

Tom finished High School in Elba in 1974 as the president of his class. Tom was likable, no, Tom was lovable. He was accomplished and capable, and vulnerable at the same time – a quality found in few men.

These events together were the First Inflection Point in the Life of Tom, and made Tom the man he was to become.

Inflection Point # 2

Tom to Hawaii, fell into a church, and was born again. In 1979, Tom was selected to sail the Church’s vessel, the Jacaranda, to the south pacific to plant and grow churches in the name of Christ. When Tom returned I remember him a bit of a bible thumper - and a good one at that. I use that term affectionately as one so enthusiastic that it permeated much of who he was. Tom could always come up with a Bible story, parable, or verse to help explain a difficult situation. Jesus was no flash in the pan for Tom – his faith survived to the end. Many years after Hawaii, when Tom was living in Cordova, AK, he was building a new bow picker in Seattle. He visited this Church. After that visit, he called Tammy and told her that Christian Faith Center is where he wanted to grow their faith, and raise their children. Tom and Tammy sold out of fishing and moved back to Washington, where Tom started his general contracting business.

A short side story. In 1977 I was deployed on my first submarine patrol. I called Tom and asked if he and Jim would do a jam and record it for me. I hadn’t seen much of my brothers for a couple years and I always admired their musical talents (me and the girls were largely passed over when God passed out that talent). They recorded over an hour of the best songs of the late sixties and seventies on a cassette tape, and Tom sent it to me. I listened to that tape until it wore out. Many years later, Tom found a copy and uploaded it to You Tube – if you google Kallander Submarine Mix it should come up. it is 1 hour and 14 minutes of Tom and Jim in their very early 20s. The fidelity isn’t great, but you will get a good sense of what made these two tick at the formative time. You will hear Tom’s very first gentle proselytizing of his brother, while no doubt Jim was sipping cold ones.

Being Born Again was the Second Inflection Point in the Life of Tom, and Tom the man was emerging.

Inflection Point # 3

In 1981, Jim encouraged Tom to come to Alaska where he had been fishing since 1978. Jim had a friend that worked at the First National Bank of Alaska that he knew attended church regularly in Cordova. Knowing Tom was devout, he asked her if she would be so kind as to take Tom to Church. Tammy agreed, and their meeting was the start of a lasting devotion and marriage. If Tom was Yin, Tammy was Yang – they dovetailed perfectly. They became regulars in their church and blessed it with their musical talents.

Tom and Tammy were so enthusiastic about getting a family started that they got the sequence backwards. David was born in 1982 and provided the opportunity for Tom to pass on his love of the outdoors to a son. Janell was the little girl that rounded out the perfect family. We all thought they were done, then Caleb came along. These three wonderful kids inherited the incredible musical talents of their parents and the passion for the outdoors. In fact, Caleb, an accomplished musician and outdoorsman in his own right, recently summited Mt. Rainier. I see your Dad living on in each one of you.

No one could ask for a more steadfast partner than Tammy. Taking care of a cancer patient is demanding, and Tammy did it with grace. In addition, David, Janell, Caleb, Deborah, Steve, Todd, and grandkids have been beside Tom throughout his final months. They have learned much about their Dad that will enhance the memories they will keep throughout their lives.

Tom’s family is the third Inflection Point in the Life of Tom, and Tom had become the man we all know and loved.

Inflection Point # 4

Ah, you are wondering what is left! Two more! For Tom there was only one thing that could complement his devoted wife and kids – and that’s grandchildren! Tom loved his grandkids – Miles, Elliot, Matthew, Armani, Ava, and Alison. These kids all think the world of their grandfather. It reminds me of Tom’s admiration for his own grandfather Ernest Kallander and great grandfather John Kallander, and grandfather John Bentley. They were builders of things, and the Kallander grandparents were musicians, like Tom. As time passes, it our duty to pass on stories to these children so they might remember and revere their grandfather the way Tom did his. Tom’s beautiful grandchildren are the fourth Inflection Point in the Life of Tom, and Tom’s legacy.

Inflection Point 5

There is one more Inflection Point in the Life of Tom, and that is the one we celebrate today. Tom departed this earth on September 19, 2018. Like many of you, I sat with Tom after he told us he was ready to go Home. Tom didn’t fear death. He knew well what Jesus said: “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” I am comforted by this - Tom is in his Father’s House. That is last and Final Inflection Point in the Life of Tom.

In closing, each of us are endowed with public, and private memories of Tom. Some worth sharing, and some so special and personal you want to keep it to yourself. Let’s try something together… take a moment and pick a favorite memory of Tom. Let that memory bring a smile through the tears and remember it often.

Finally, on behalf of the family I want to recognize all of you here today, those watching through the Live Stream, and those that hold Tom and his family in your thoughts and prayers. Your support and friendship are inspirational, and we are thankful for you.